I'm confused...

And not sure if I should actually be publishing what I really feel on the interwebs, cos a lot of it has got to do with private stuff that I'm currently only comfortable telling to friends I know exist, as it were. Sorry if that's blunt...

So I spoke to my dad for the first time in over a year today. His mum passed away after a long battle with Leukaemia at some point in the early hours of Tuesday morning or late Tuesday evening, I can't remember. And I feel genuinely really sorry for everybody involved, even my Dad, because Leukaemia is something which I wouldn't wish on even my worst enemy. But I'm confused - I don't know if I've misjudged his family over the last three years or so and I really, really don't know what to do or say.

Somebody help me?!
xxxxxx

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This blog has encountered a Sherlock-related problem and may not return to full functionality for several days.

No, seriously, I don't know how I'm going to survive Sherlock tonight. Any tips greatly appreciated.

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The next time I come out of an exam, they'll be the real ones.

Fuck.

Ok, so we've had mock exams this past fortnight, and to be honest, they went rather shockingly badly. Apart from music and german, which were the only two decent exams. And it struck me that the next time I go into an exam room, they'll be the real exams, not some poncy fake ones which don't count for anything.

I. Am. Going. To. Die.

The only good news is that I've had another offer from a university. Also, I know when I'm next meeting my brother. I should really find a name for him.

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2012: A year for change.

So now that 2012 has begun to establish itself (well, it hasn't, I haven't even written the date yet), I think it's about time that I decide on some firm New Years Resolutions. You know, the ones I never make and keep even less.

Maybe last year's resolutions were a bit too ambitious. I always knew that I was never ever going to take up a sport of sorts, and that the weight loss was going to last for a week or too, then I'd get stressed about school and comfort-eat till the cows came home and suddenly I'm large enough to start gaining orbiting satellites. Coming out of the closet AND getting a boyfriend in the same year was never ever going to happen, I should have realised that. So naturally some of these resolutions will continue over into this year.

2012 New Years Resolutions

1. Get a boyfriend with whom I can have a long-term relationship.
2. At least start looking for a job (after the end of exams), and hopefully get one too.
3. Lose weight.
4. Be more of an extrovert, particularly when drunk.
5. Make an effort to dress up at 'fancy dress' parties.
6. Pass the IB. If that's physically possible is a different question.
7. Keep as many of these resolutions as possible.

Why am I making so many more resolutions this year than I did last year? Well, probably because a) after May, I'll have time to kill, b) I don't think they're as ambitious as some of last years were, c) they're more realistically achievable.

I also relish the task of finding a flat in London to move into with my friend at a time when prices will probably be moving the wrong way towards 0 due to the Olympics. Which I will only be watching the male swimming contests so I can see lots of nearly naked, fit/cute/hot men I won't be watching. 

Last year I remember being sceptical about most of them (such as coming out and getting a boyfriend), and surprisingly, they were the ones which I actually managed to complete. Even if I never actually went on a date with my boyfriend who I realised was a bit of an arse while we were 'going out'. I'm not even sure if he counts as a boyfriend. Anyway, I digress. Perhaps I should be really sceptical about completing all of them (particularly number 6), and then they'll all come to pass and I can have a really positive reflection on this year when it comes to December 31. Who knows?

What are your new years resolutions? Comment as always with yours, and feel free to tell me if you think I'll manage mine! 

♥