I don't really know what to say - nothing's happened. For once in a long long time, I don't actually feel as depressed about being single and more or less in the closet as I have been since I set this blog up. Not quite sure why that is. No doubt that'll change once school starts again next week... I'll look at Jack and think "it's a shame he's straight."
Although, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure he's as straight as he makes out to be (no pun intended). Yeah he's got a girlfriend. But he just seems gay. Or at least, bi-curious. I know that seems like I'm stereotyping, but I'm not - god knows, I hate stereotyping. But my 'gaydar' (for want of a better term) is telling me that he is. Perhaps his constant boasting about his desire to get fucked is part of the reason why I think he's bi-curious. And his almost constant acting gay (here I go again with the stereotypes) - he's forever drawing cocks on tables/books/hands. The other day (well, not the other day, it was in January when I came out to India, Akiko and Lisa) Akiko had printed a picture of some Japanese band she's into and asked each of us in turn which one of them we'd "do." Out of the three girls and one guy in the picture, Jack instantly pointed to the dude and said something along the lines of "he's completely fuckable."
So yeah, I'm not sure about him. All I know is that I would definitely be willing to help him fulfil his desire :D *evil laugh*
Wednesday 31 August 2011
Monday 15 August 2011
The last two months
Well.... a lot's happened. Possibly the biggest thing that has happened is the fact that me and Will are no longer together. We never went on that date - possibly because I realised that he just wasn't 'the one'. He's too ruthless for me. Which sounds really brutal, but I don't know how else to put it. He's one of those people who drops anybody he's bored with and moves on.
When we went into London for a theatre trip with school, we got the same train there and back, and he was telling me how he managed to get one person (coincidently, it was my ex) to leave the school because he bullied him so much. He told me how he successfully managed to get one girl to not be friends with his friends. That attitude blew it for me. Any chance we had together now doesn't exist, because I don't want to be his new target. I don't want a boyfriend who chooses other people's friends. I don't want a boyfriend who makes a mess of things, drops it, moves on and leaves someone else to pick up the pieces. Sorry. He's obviously not the boyfriend I'm looking for.
So that's that. We still talk, and we're on friendly terms, but when he inevitably drops me like he has so many others, it won't hurt quite as much if we're simply friends, than if we're in a full-on relationship.
I can't remember if I mentioned me being in the school play, but I was, and that went brilliantly. I had (even the directors said so) the most lines and the most challenging character, and possibly the most prompts too, but the number of prompts I had don't compare to the fantastic experience it was. I want to do it all over again, and I'll probably cry a little when the audition posters go up next year and I realise I won't be able to be in it. I keep telling myself 'it'll be nice to be able to go into the auditorium next year and not know what to expect', but for me, the knowing and keeping it secret and performing it is so much more fun and memorable than simply watching it.
The Bassoon's progressing.... I gave up on the oboe, because I kept getting dizzy - too much air pressure on the brain, I guess.
Mum now officially knows that I'm at least spending my gap year with my brother in London somewhere - neither of us know whereabouts in London yet, but that's where we'll be. She also knows that I'm considering studying in England too. I know last time I was on the topic of University, I moaned about the £9,000pa not being worth it, but we've had plenty of talks on student finance, and I'm not too fussed about it any more - I wouldn't consider it a debt anyway, if the money comes out of my account automatically and I never see the money I owe in the first place, then I never think about having to repay the money, so that's all good. I'm looking at a Joint Honours in Music and Film Studies, which all looks very exciting.
Hmmmm what else? Apart from meeting David Tennant and Catherine Tate at the signing after Much Ado About Nothing (I have the script they used and they've touched it, and signed it and I'm like OMG!!!!!!! :D:D), nothing new or of any interest.
xx
When we went into London for a theatre trip with school, we got the same train there and back, and he was telling me how he managed to get one person (coincidently, it was my ex) to leave the school because he bullied him so much. He told me how he successfully managed to get one girl to not be friends with his friends. That attitude blew it for me. Any chance we had together now doesn't exist, because I don't want to be his new target. I don't want a boyfriend who chooses other people's friends. I don't want a boyfriend who makes a mess of things, drops it, moves on and leaves someone else to pick up the pieces. Sorry. He's obviously not the boyfriend I'm looking for.
So that's that. We still talk, and we're on friendly terms, but when he inevitably drops me like he has so many others, it won't hurt quite as much if we're simply friends, than if we're in a full-on relationship.
I can't remember if I mentioned me being in the school play, but I was, and that went brilliantly. I had (even the directors said so) the most lines and the most challenging character, and possibly the most prompts too, but the number of prompts I had don't compare to the fantastic experience it was. I want to do it all over again, and I'll probably cry a little when the audition posters go up next year and I realise I won't be able to be in it. I keep telling myself 'it'll be nice to be able to go into the auditorium next year and not know what to expect', but for me, the knowing and keeping it secret and performing it is so much more fun and memorable than simply watching it.
The Bassoon's progressing.... I gave up on the oboe, because I kept getting dizzy - too much air pressure on the brain, I guess.
Mum now officially knows that I'm at least spending my gap year with my brother in London somewhere - neither of us know whereabouts in London yet, but that's where we'll be. She also knows that I'm considering studying in England too. I know last time I was on the topic of University, I moaned about the £9,000pa not being worth it, but we've had plenty of talks on student finance, and I'm not too fussed about it any more - I wouldn't consider it a debt anyway, if the money comes out of my account automatically and I never see the money I owe in the first place, then I never think about having to repay the money, so that's all good. I'm looking at a Joint Honours in Music and Film Studies, which all looks very exciting.
Hmmmm what else? Apart from meeting David Tennant and Catherine Tate at the signing after Much Ado About Nothing (I have the script they used and they've touched it, and signed it and I'm like OMG!!!!!!! :D:D), nothing new or of any interest.
xx
I'm Back!
And with a new look blog too!
So I realise it's been over 3 months since I last posted, and a busy three months it's been. Finally started Bassoon lessons, am single again, still no further in coming out to the rest of the world, but surprisingly, not too depressed.
I'll post more later on tonight, but just thought I'd let you know that despite my lack of posts, I haven't forgotten about the blog!! :D
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So I realise it's been over 3 months since I last posted, and a busy three months it's been. Finally started Bassoon lessons, am single again, still no further in coming out to the rest of the world, but surprisingly, not too depressed.
I'll post more later on tonight, but just thought I'd let you know that despite my lack of posts, I haven't forgotten about the blog!! :D
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