*feels depressed*
So it was the first proper day back at school in like, forever. The Easter holidays, the bank holidays, and yesterday was a non-pupil day, so I haven't actually seen Will since I asked him out... TWO WEEKS AGO?!?! Really?? That doesn't seem right.
But yeah, I realise that we haven't gone public about us yet, and maybe he'll look at me once we do and I'm probably making mountains out of molehills...... but he was in every lesson with me today.... and he barely looked at me twice. WHY?????? Is he just taking the piss? Does he want to go out with me or not? Surely the least he could do is say 'hi' to me when we pass each other in the corridor or in lessons?
Help me? What should I do? We both agreed that we weren't going to go on our date until after his exams had finished.... but that's not 'til the middle of JUNE!!!!
Wednesday 4 May 2011
This is just too surreal for words.
Everything seems to have happened at the speed of light recently, and I've totally forgotten about this cyber diary I find myself keeping. Since my last post, I no longer find myself single, but finally in a relationship (with the guy who beat me to Head Boy, funnily enough), yet still hardly any closer to officially coming out of the closet.
What do I call my new boyfriend?? I think I'll settle for Will... As it sounds a little bit like willy and one very famous will got married over the weekend (three guesses who).
I never used to like him. We mucked around with each other once or twice when we were younger, but nothing serious - and everytime we did, he wouldn't talk to me for ages afterwards. He'd be really rude to me... Maybe because he knew that we were both gay and competing against each other to getting a boyfriend first. So we're probably both as surprised as each other that we're going out eith each other.
I first realised I liked him in that sort of way maybe the middle of November, just before I set this blog up. I didn't think he liked me too. Well, who's to say he doesn't?? I asked him out - albeit after he started flirting with me on Facebook. He said he was lonely and tired of being single, and I just consoled him.... It was obvious (I think) that he wanted me to ask him out, but he didn't have the courage to do so with me. But I asked him if he wanted to go out for a drink at somepoint, he said yes and now I'm waiting to set the date. This was in Easter Sunday.
Sorry, hang on - *shifts cat off of keyboard* - much better I can see you now. Where was I? Oh yeah.
The day I asked him, I was probably blinded by adrenaline... I felt so excited that I had the courage to ask a guy out - to have him accept was just a bonus I wasn't expecting. But now it's worn off... I'm not sure about it anymore. I mean, I like him, but it's more of a "I like you as a friend" sort of like, rather than a fancy-the-pants-off-of like. I'm not sure I love him. My heart belongs to someone else... And sadly he's straight. You know who I'm on about, I don't need to say it.
Mum's been annoyingly embarrassing again lately. She thinks she has to comment on everything, just because she seems to love the sound of her own voice. She just will not shut up! She drives me mad... I still haven't told her that I'm not planning to move back to Germany eith her. In fact; me and my brother have decided that once I've finished school, we're goingto flatshare. She doesn't know about that yet either.
I'm scarred I'm losing contact with her. With every day that passes, I feel I have to get out of her hair. I look forward to the days when she's away on business - peace and quiet, with nobody dictating my life or telling me what to do, except for a daily 15 minute phone call that I dont really need to listen to. I'm ready to move out, I think..... Just not sure if she's ready to be completely alone...
What do I call my new boyfriend?? I think I'll settle for Will... As it sounds a little bit like willy and one very famous will got married over the weekend (three guesses who).
I never used to like him. We mucked around with each other once or twice when we were younger, but nothing serious - and everytime we did, he wouldn't talk to me for ages afterwards. He'd be really rude to me... Maybe because he knew that we were both gay and competing against each other to getting a boyfriend first. So we're probably both as surprised as each other that we're going out eith each other.
I first realised I liked him in that sort of way maybe the middle of November, just before I set this blog up. I didn't think he liked me too. Well, who's to say he doesn't?? I asked him out - albeit after he started flirting with me on Facebook. He said he was lonely and tired of being single, and I just consoled him.... It was obvious (I think) that he wanted me to ask him out, but he didn't have the courage to do so with me. But I asked him if he wanted to go out for a drink at somepoint, he said yes and now I'm waiting to set the date. This was in Easter Sunday.
Sorry, hang on - *shifts cat off of keyboard* - much better I can see you now. Where was I? Oh yeah.
The day I asked him, I was probably blinded by adrenaline... I felt so excited that I had the courage to ask a guy out - to have him accept was just a bonus I wasn't expecting. But now it's worn off... I'm not sure about it anymore. I mean, I like him, but it's more of a "I like you as a friend" sort of like, rather than a fancy-the-pants-off-of like. I'm not sure I love him. My heart belongs to someone else... And sadly he's straight. You know who I'm on about, I don't need to say it.
Mum's been annoyingly embarrassing again lately. She thinks she has to comment on everything, just because she seems to love the sound of her own voice. She just will not shut up! She drives me mad... I still haven't told her that I'm not planning to move back to Germany eith her. In fact; me and my brother have decided that once I've finished school, we're goingto flatshare. She doesn't know about that yet either.
I'm scarred I'm losing contact with her. With every day that passes, I feel I have to get out of her hair. I look forward to the days when she's away on business - peace and quiet, with nobody dictating my life or telling me what to do, except for a daily 15 minute phone call that I dont really need to listen to. I'm ready to move out, I think..... Just not sure if she's ready to be completely alone...
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